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Category Archives: Jokes

Award Winning Joke

Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.  As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, “You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here.”

The astonished Chinese man replied, “It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour,it was the Japanese”.

“Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you’re all the same,” replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, “You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.”

Shocked, Spielberg replies,”It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me.”

The Chinese replies, “Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you’re all the same.”

Santa Banta funny Jokes

Santa: oye banta machli khayega?
Banta:nahi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa: oye chadd yaar, chappal pahen k kha lena.

santa: jadon meri navi navi shadi hoi menu meri biwi ini sohni lagdi c k dil karda c kha hi jawan.

Friend: aur ab???

Santa: kha hi jaanda te changa c

Sardar funny Jokes Wah Paaji!!!!!

Interviewer:
what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

Manager asked sardar at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

One tourist from U.S.A. asked Sardar:
Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, “Gandi was a great man, but I don’t know who is Jayanthi.

When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver
adjusted the mirror. Sardar shouted, “You are trying to see my
wife? Sit behind. I will drive.

Interviewer: just imagine youare on the3rd floor, it caught fire
and how will you escape?
Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination! !!

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow!!! That’s an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: ” Bombay … Bombay ”
Air hostess said: “B silent.”
Sardar: “Ok.. Ombay. Ombay”

Teacher: “What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?”
Sardar: “All are born on government holidays…! !!

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

What is More Costly in India?

Over the weekend, I filled up my car’s fuel tank, and I thought fuel has
become really expensive after the recent price hike.

But then I compared it with other common liquids and did some quick
calculations, and I felt a little better.

To know why, see the results below – you’ll be surprised at how
outrageous some other prices are !

Diesel (regular) in Mumbai : Rs.36.08 per litre

Petrol (speed) in Mumbai : Rs.52 per litre

Coca Cola 330 ml can : Rs.20 = Rs.61 per litre

Dettol antiseptic 100 ml Rs.20 = Rs.200 per litre

Radiator coolant 500 ml Rs.160 = Rs.320 per litre

Pantene conditioner 400 ml Rs.165 = Rs.413 per litre

Medicinal mouthwash like Listerine 100 ml Rs.45 = Rs. 450 per litre

Red Bull 150 ml can : Rs.75 = Rs.500 per litre

Corex cough syrup 100 ml Rs.57 = Rs. 570 per litre

Evian water 500 ml Rs. 330 = Rs. 660 per litre
Rs. 500 for a litre of WATER???!!! And the buyers don’t even know the
source (Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)

Kores whiteout 15 ml Rs. 15 = Rs. 1000 per litre

Cup of coffee at any decent business hotel 150 ml Rs. 175 = Rs. 1167 per
litre

Old Spice after shave lotion 100 ml Rs. 175 = Rs. 1750 per litre

Pure almond oil 25 ml Rs. 68 = Rs. 2720 per litre

And this is the REAL KICKER…
HP deskjet colour ink cartridge 21 ml Rs.1900 = Rs. 90476 per litre!!!

Now you know why computer printers are so cheap ? So they have you
hooked for the ink !

So, the next time you’re at the pump, don’t curse our honorable
Petroleum minister – just be glad your car doesn’t run on cough syrup,
after shave, coffee, or God forbid, printer ink.

three turtles

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to
go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized
they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said
he would go home and get it if they wouldn’t eat the
sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a
month, finally a year, when the two turtles said,”oh,
come on, let’s eat the sandwiches.” Suddenly the
little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said,
“If you do, I won’t go!”

biggest teacher lie to student?

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the
room.
The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”

One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and
decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the
teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what
a lie was.”

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

Six or Seven? (Joke)

Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven Sir

Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven

Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven!

Teacher: Where do you get seven from?
Johnny: Because I’ve ****in already got one at home..